Beeyay III – Back in Action!

Beeyay I and Beeyay II were about my interactions with outside people. This one is slightly hatke. This is a conversation I overheard within the fuzzy depths of my mind.

Remember those cartoons where there is an angel and a devil side of you that argues with each other? The sanctimonious Holy white cartoon and the evil and cunning Black cartoon? Turns out, these things don’t always happen only in reel life. They have decided to appear in my mind as well. In a way, it helps me make decisions in a more relative manner, taking both sides into account. (Generally, very blah decisions like must I bunk college today or watch Parent Trap again) However, this conversation was certainly not expected by me. Or the ‘me(s)’

Black-cartoon-of-myself: So you finally sent that mail huh?

White-cartoon-of-myself: Um, yes. It was the only right decision to do, you know. If you don’t want the job, then you must politely reject it early so that the chance may be given to someone else.

B: Whatever. You could’ve retained the offer till you got into some decent post grad college thingy right? I mean, a job is anyway much much more fun! You’ll get to, like, earn and stuff…and party with all those earnings and stuff.

W: *wary but patient look* but I want to study further, not earn and ahem…party… right now.

B: Bah! You crib about studying for a measly internal test and you want to study for like, sooooo many more years?

W: What’s wrong with that? I like what I want to do and if I get in a good place, I’ll not miss rejecting ‘the dream job’. And besides, what’s the point in studying when you don’t crib a tad? *winks*

B: Umm….duh! You interned there…you had the time of your life. You said yourself that given the chance, you’d want to rewind and live it a hundred times over. And now you don’t want to go back there? I mean, it’s going to be like a lifetime of that internship period…you don’t want all that? You’ll probably only meet clinically depressed or suicidal people all your life now onwards, instead of those happy happy guys!

W: Um...at least my life will be more fulfilling. And I will live on my terms…not get carried away by the euphoria of an internship. Besides, it’s the best I can think of in my line of study.

B: You want to know what’s best? This job is best, that’s what is best. Who in this insanely competitive world will hire a mere Beeyay for a job later anyway? Now that you have the world’s best employer wanting to hire you, you turn your back to it and say “No thanks, I’m better off in mental hospitals fulfilling my life?” Face it whitey, you want style, action and fun in your life. And you will certainly not get all that by cramming up books for the next what, 4 years? You’ll just graduate from a Beeyay to maybe a Yemesee (MSc) and Oh! If you’re lucky maybe even a PhD! A doctorate in boringsville, that’s what this is.

W: …………….. *no answer really, it’s one that I’m seeking as well.*

I guess at some level, I want to be the White-cartoon-of-myself. But there is that black cartoon in me that I've recently encountered. Is this a fight between being pragmatic and romantic (in the idealist, rose glasses sort of way)? Or is it a reflection of two opinions with the same goal in mind-success and self-fulfillment?

All this while, I’ve ridiculed the society, parents (of other people) and the world in general. I didn’t realize that I had a Beeyay bug inside me as well.

Ten years down the line, I might want to revisit this post to see who won the argument after all….the white or the black cartoon. And whoever it was that won, I hope not at the cost of my ambitions.

Marooned!!

You know, I had this dream once where God had decided to be considerate on us Bangaloreans and bring a beach to the city. One day I would step out and see my house turned into a houseboat, right in the middle of a vast endless ocean of aquamarine blue and the only way I could get to other places would be with the help of a raft. Very Famous Five-ish.

But today I realized...dreams do come true. I'm beginning to regret the fact that I didnt pay too much attention to the coach during my swimming lessons. Now there is no way out of this place.

Oh dear.

I'm drowning.

Glub
Glub
Glu........b.

Tagged again! :)

What have you realized recently?
Chocolate muffins can release endorphins that not only elevate your mood and remove stress, but they also apparently eliminate your paltry will power to study!

Have you given your first kiss away?
Nah. I'm single, not yet ready to mingle, and haven't met anyone who makes my heart tingle! OK.....so it's a pretty lame rhyme...but can hearts tingle?

If you are stranded on a deserted island, who are the 11 blog buddies you will take along with you?
Hah! Firstly, I don't have 11 blog buddies. I might have a couple, but since I'm stranded, I might as well take the book Snow, by Orhan Pamuk with me.....it's been lying unread for the past 5 weeks...I'll end up finishing the book at least.

Where is the place you want to go the most?
Hmmm.....I want to see ALL of Europe and South America..but for now, I'm content with just going to that new mall and sizing it up. It's supposed to have a Westside, Landmark and Inox...clothes, books and movies....and I can get 'em all with a hop, skip and jump from my place!

If you have one dream to come true, then what would it be?
Well, literally speaking..I got a dream yesterday that my English HOD presented me the Nobel Prize for Literature after she read my answers in the exam. If Freud had his way, then I guess it means I'm suffering from an inferiority complex of writing literature answers...but it's only a dream....so I wouldn't mind it coming true! ;-)

Do you believe in seeing the rainbow after the rain?
Well, the raindrops have to be at the correct angle for dispersion to occur and rainbows to be formed. But on a sunny day if it drizzles, yeah, I look out for a rainbow. Besides, I've seen TWO rainbows together as well....just scroll down this blog....you might catch it there!


What are you afraid of losing the most now?
Dude...I'm afraid of losing my Literature notes right now. I've written pages and pages about the plight of Oedipus...if I don't find it in my room then I guess I can kiss that dream of winning the Nobel Prize goodbye! ;-)
What I want to lose, however, is my weight.....I've discovered this most divine bakery that has chocolate muffins...and from the business I've been giving them....I need to start searching for my sports shoes and lose it all.

If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Haven't I already answered this? I'd like to go backpacking across Europe, please. And probably buy a permanent suite at Hotel Hershey.

If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
No...I'm too shy to do that. I swear! If you're reading this and wondering whatever happened to that irritatingly loquacious and bubbly kiddo who squeals out everything...then I guess you must know that I'm not all that kiddish...or irritating...or bubbly. Sigh, but I cant dispute loquacious.

List out 3 good points about the person who tagged you.
Iysh?
1) She is extremely determined about doing the IAS, here is one person who believes the country has to change and is actually working towards it! Hats off to you, Iysh!
2) She is very prompt and punctual...something I noticed when she would be the only person ready bang on time everyday!!
3) Thanks to her, all of us ended up feeding our faces with Rum Cake and acting like lil kids on the terrace at 12 in the night on 27th May! ;-) Did the birthday girl get a bite of the cake at all??

What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Well, I'm a southpaw, so I want my right half to be just as competent in writing and handling spoons and forks. In case I fracture my arm (Like that's ever going to happen..considering my dangerous sedentary lifestyle) my other half will work just as well as my left half!

Wait...you mean the life partner-other half types? Aaaah...then I require good genetics-probably including an incidence of twins in the family, someone who doesn't have the genes of protruding teeth, obesity and weak eyes and hypertension. Otherwise, I just like powerful, intelligent, handsome, funny, intriguing, happy people. Not too many expectations there! :-)

What type of people do you hate the most?
Unqualified Cynics. The kind of people who have never stepped into a BMTC bus and yet go on and on about the mismanaged transport system of the city. They anger me to no end.

What is the one thing that you cannot live without?
Sigh. I've answered this before as well. I cant live without my gift of gab. Also, that bakery with chocolate muffins.

If you have faults, would you rather people tell you about it or keep it to themselves?
Depends on who is doing the telling. If it's someone I know well enough to really point out my flaws for my benefit and not just out of spite, then I might like it. If they're not too close, then they can keep my faults to themselves, thanks.

This question has gone for a walk!
Excellent. Even questions have begun to go for walks and here I am...wanting to do it for months. Was this question supposed to give me a hint? Point taken. Hmph.


Are you a shopaholic?
Yeah! Only when the shopping is for me.

Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
Zealous! (Sorry, it's a word I haven't used in a really long time...and it really describes you when it comes to your ambitions!)

If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
There really isn't anything I want to change about myself. But I'd like some people to take me more seriously and not just consider me a floaty-happy-bubbly person.

What's the last shocking thing that you have seen or heard?
Haha..it was this article I read about Sarah Palin in the Newsweek. Shockingly Nasty! But it was the kind that makes everyone chuckle and wonder about the plight of Palin if she does succeed in becoming the Vice President.

Would you rather have money, but no love, or love, but no money?
I want lovely money! My answers seem to get cornier by the question!
Seriously....I think I'd rather have the money since I haven't found love yet...so I'm not willing to bet on love.

Okay..since I have to tag this to another person, I pick Sneha! Welcome to the blogging world and pass on this chain!! ;-)

An Idiot Exemplified

I used to be the most loyal defender of the Idiot Box. I never believed a word that others said about how it can spoil you, make your brains freeze or just turn you into a couch potato. But today, I stand corrected.
Reasons why watching TV is the worst possible time pass at 11.30 in the morning:

1) Only re-runs of Ekta Kapoor and pseudo Ekta Kapoor serials are aired. The women, dressed to give a rainbow an inferiority complex, are in a constant tug of war with one another. The men are only present in these shows to be unfaithful, marry thrice, die twice and undergo a series of plastic surgeries until they end up looking quite the same as the first episode. Earlier, the one difference between these soaps and movies were the song and dance sequences. But due to a lack of story and creativity, even film songs have entered these mansions. Why induce melancholy in life by watching these sagas anyway?

2) Spitsvilla- I know I’ve spelt it wrong. But seriously, all they do in splitsvilla is spit at each other’s reputations and sub-zero sized images. A score of girls try and woo two desperate looking boys just so that they can claim their fifteen seconds of fame, and if luck is on their side, maybe even the love of one of those loser fellows. Really, have girls in this country become this desperate for companionship? Their antics make me wonder if accepting fraaanship requests on social networking sites is a much better option.

3) News Channels- This is not prime time for news anyway. It’s prime time for scandalous news. Try any desi news channel, and they’ll be discussing why Shilpa Shetty has become so Anglicized or something equally intriguing.

4) Teleshopping Channels. This is the time allocated for teleshopping. Even normal channels that usually air sitcoms end up airing teleshopping ads. A failed actress would be coaxing you to buy that magical roti-maker or those massage belt thingies that are bound to make you a smart, thin and efficient home-maker (the contemporary euphemism for housewife.)

This is only a chip off the humongous block of crappy stuff shown on TV at 11.30. The genres of shows change with times of the day as they cater to varying audiences. Using this point, we know that 11.30 is perhaps the time for home-makers to view television. So has Indian Television come to a conclusion that home-makers needs shows that are mundane enough to stimulate a pea-brain or am I just turning cynical after having watched this much TV in my holidays?

The Role Model.

We've all written essays at school about our role models. I used to switch between Mark Twain (for being left-handed and a writer) and my Grandad (for being just the coolest Thata ever). But only recently did I understand the meaning of a Role Model. Someone you dont just admire, but respect. Someone who isn't imitated, but emulated. And it is then, that I found my true role model. You, my Friend. I don't need to mention the name, or the reason why I've made you my role model. You've taught me a lot (and that includes parts of maths and sanskrit, apart from just lessons of life.)

I've lived most of my life in a candyfloss environment. You've taught me that if life does decide to change tracks, and I lose complete control, it's okay. It eventually does settle down on a new track. It's up to me to build a new environment of candyfloss around it.
When sad things happen, you've taught me that I needn't always react like television soap actors, but accept events with a lot of calmness, courage and strength.
Most of all, there is nothing that can redeem the joy I get by waking up to a brand new day. You've taught me to respect the value of each and every day. Both good ones and bad ones.

These are perhaps small, even insignificant things in most people's lives. They might read this and wonder why on earth am I realising these things this late. But the fact remains that you've shown me a new perspective to life and to living every moment to the best of my capabilities. I wont make cliched remarks of 'always being there for you', but if ever you need someone to hang out with, share a couple of laughs...tears even, then you'll see my irritatingly bubbly self hovering around somewhere. Your strength redefines the word 'strength'. And today, I put you ahead of all the role models that I have ever admired. Thank you, Friend.

Point. Zoom. Click.

Technically, I should be using this time to study for my photography exam. It’s being held so early tomorrow morning that I’ll probably have to coax the sun to rise so that I can grope my way to the nearest bus stop and land up at college on time. This is the reason why I must dust my dying driving license and well, use my sense and drive. That accounts for a whole new post anyway, so let me just get to the point, zoom and click.

Remember Chewing Gum, Exam and Friends? Well, my photography class had a somewhat similar beginning. I am not trying to become an ‘accomplished’ woman of the Austen times by trying out theatre, photography etc. This class was compulsory and if not for this, I’d be still content with my four eyes and camera-phone to capture images (I recently discovered that I do in fact own a digital camera, but happy events have stopped occurring in life, so there is nothing to capture in it.)

We began class a month ago. Our sir likes to give the sun an inferiority complex by rising earlier. In an effort to impress him, most of us tried reaching on time but in the process ended up looking like doped kids picked up from the corner of some random alley. The theory classes were fun, sitting under a huge tree in college. In fact, my first ever picture (during the class, that is) was of that tree. When I see the outcome, it just looks like a mass of spangled leaves with sunshine peeking through, but anyway, it’s the thought behind the image that counts. :P

We progressed from college to Loafer’s Lane and then moved on to explore the world yonder. In the past few weeks, we’ve been to Pottery Town, Dhobi Ghat, MG Road promenade (or what’s left of it) and Russel Market.
Pottery town was our first excursion with the camera, so we considered ourselves to be these crime-scene photographers as we trudged along the muddy (well, it rains everyday and this is pottery town, so there’s nothing else but mud) lanes with the SLRs, capturing the most bizarre moments and claiming them to be masterpieces.
Dhobi ghat was especially interesting as we saw over 50 men and women washing clothes continuously, almost in a rhythm. The swishing of clothes in the wind and the mixing of hues in that space of land was a photographer’s paradise, with the donkey and everything.
Russell market was, well, crowded. Even as early as 7.45 in the morning. Of course, we had to choose the eve of St.Mary’s Feast to shoot pictures around the Basilica of St.Mary. We explored Shivajinagar and got lost in the by-lanes that led to these alleys of auto-repair shops. We stalked random people who looked like ‘intriguing subjects’. We also tried capturing a Policeman, but he gave us such a look of disdain that we meekly scampered away.
MG Road was dirty. Well, we went to the promenade side, which has been ravaged by huge metal rods and garbage. What was once a walkway filled with bougainvillea blossoms is now a garbage dump with weeds and thousands of fountain Pepsi glasses. Looks like someone had a party and forgot to clean up, a century ago. We tried our hand at panning and painting with light (if you don’t know what this means then I’ve achieved my ultimate goal of photography class- befuddling people with technical and impressive jargons!) A couple of rats, hawks and red ants came up and watched us in action. I swear I saw a snake and some maggots as well, but my friends shooed away that observation, claiming it to be false. They were just trying to reassure themselves. I did see those creatures. In the history of our photography class, the sun finally beat us. It set before we finished, and we were left with specks of orangey-blue dotting the skies. That contrasted sharply with the neon billboards and headlights of zooming vehicles. The sunset was a spectacle. Perhaps because I’ve not seen many of those in Bangalore. Blame it on the load of work, or my anti-social nature of being ensconced in a confined space, I have to concede that the world looks bloody brilliant during the sunset.

With those, and a couple more excursions, we ended our photography class. But in true filmy style, we had a grand finale. As you read this, in some printing press in the streets of Bangalore, our pictures are being printed on the cover of the College Magazine (or something or the other related to college…we’re not too sure). Our sir did some photo-shoots of the new auditorium and needed, ahem, models to make the college look more vibrant. So we gladly replaced our alumni of supermodels and clearly high on the overdose of photographs, we flounced about the basketball court looking slyly at the camera. The moment I get my hands on whichever book that carries the picture on it’s cover, I’m going to frame it and show it off to the next couple of generations (My general tendency is to appear hideous in all school/college magazines, but this one, my newfound photography intuition says, is going to be a classic.)

Well, that is it. The classes are done and it’s now my job to go and study (ha ha) for the exam. I have seen the pictures I’ve taken so far. They haven’t been spectacular, but there is some potential that is straining to appear amidst those images. If I manage to achieve my goal of retiring at the age of forty and settling down in the Fiji Islands (I have a friend there, you know.), then I’ll scrape a living out of clicking pictures of sunrise and sunset. Waitaminute, did I say sunrise? Doesn’t the sun rise, at like, five in the morning? *look of horror*

08.08.08

Much much unlike the previous two posts, this one is going to be short and sweet. Again, the desire for the dateline overtook the writer's creativity and I wanted one post for this date. Really, this blog is becoming like some sort of museum, where I'm collecting memories and storing them..knowing for a fact that this record can never be lost in that eternally messy room of mine.

Well, I dont really want to spend much time here today though....the Olympics, my psychology project analysis, assignments and a storybook beckons me to get off this space. I'm quite certain I'll come up with many 'productive' posts between 08.08.08 and 09.09.09 and not just rant and rave about how cool the date looks on my blog! :)