Holiday Tips

It's been put here by popular demand. (Read:1 person following my blog as 2 people)

Christmas time, and you have no idea how to spend your holidays? Those five days that come between Christmas and New Year are bothering you silly because you have nothing to do except eat, sleep, eat and sleep? Oh, you poor poor thing. Don't fear, I'm here! (but not my sanity, it seems)

These have been painstakingly devised after being inspired by real-life incidents, lots of chick-lit, chick-flicks and basically a creatively bored mind. They have also been painstakingly compiled by the Sexy Potato (as she likes to call herself...we'll stick to Potate, if you don't mind. This is a PG-13 blog.) So thank you Potate, first for compiling all of this from your FB wall (where I would religiously post them everyday) and then e-mailing them to me (which I studiously ignored for several months) and pestering me to put them up (which I finally did...and look! I found an old languishing draft that I could edit and make it look like I put it up in December only!)

Darn. I gave away my secret.

Anyhow, this is what happens to me when I'm high on holidays:

Holidaytipoftheday #1: Go for a walk in your garden. Examine the weird looking plants and flowers. If you're lucky (or are hyper-allergic to everything like me), then a rare bug may bite you and you may become The Bugwoman. And unleash your terrific powers on all those you've always wanted to extract revenge from. Find a flop director and get him to make a movie called The Dark Nightie...where you can finally show the world your 'Peace on Earth' Nightshirt and extract the ultimate Beauty Contest Accomplishment - Global Peace. But remember, with great power, comes great responsibility. (Bah, I wish it came with great pajamas...so I could get rid of my 'Peace on Earth' shirt.)

Holidaytipoftheday #2: Overdose on bournvita. Then, when you're feeling all sugary high, walk up to that neighbour who's been singing upstairs all day (and not even nice songs, at that) and stare at him intently, as if you can X ray his tonsils from where you stand. When he gets all self conscious, you can clear your throat very importantly, and as he shakes with fright, you pointedly glare and say, 'Pliz gime vatar'....and continue to sing the rest of the song. This may not earn you the title of India's Got Talent, but once you get back to normal state after bournvita wears off, it will effectively keep you away from public interaction for the next three decades, at least. Three weeks of holidays is a blip.

(If you have not heard 'Pliz gime vatar', I suggest you contact me/potate sometime. We shall delightfully enlighten you about the 'dude' song of Youtube.)

Holidaytipoftheday #3: It's Christmas eve! Go around your neighbourhood in search of that cute Christian boy who used to come to your tuitions in 12th std. Round up little mohalla kids and pretend to be teaching them carols when he 'happens' to walk past. Get one kid to bring weird pokey looking leaf and ask you what mistletoe is. Look at the cute boy helplessly as if kid has asked you out-of-syllabus tuition question. As the boy begins to explain, you may demonstrate. (However, if you are more the ears-turning-red type, then just stand and smile like Christmas tree lighting). After which you may all troop into his house and drink cuddly hot chocolate with plum cake and stare at each other in candlelight.

(If you feel this ain't so PG-13 rated, then just drink more bournvita and dream up the whole sequence. I promise I won't tell on you.)

Holidaytipoftheday# 4: It's Christmas!! Okay, it may be one of the most magical days of the year but it is still a freakin holiday. And we're here because we find them holidays boring right? And since Christmas is all about stockings, do a recce around your house. Gather all the pairs of socks your family owns. Bring them together, either draw weird cartoons on the toes of some,... or cut off the little toe part....add ribbons, stick confetti, use shoe polish - Be creative! And when they search the high seas for you (uh, yes. Try and hide on Christmas morning as soon as they discover the creative damage you have unleashed), scatter around some cute kiddie photographs of yourself and the family. By the time they're done going through all the albums, you're bound to be welcomed with an 'Aaaw...look at the cute little fiascos you got into as a kid'.

(This is, of course, assuming you're still cute. Otherwise, it may begin a whole new argument.)

Holidaytipoftheday # 5: Find a Camera! Be a photographer! And stalk everyone in your family, pets, stray dogs and cows, crows and pigeons, those nasty little neighbourhood boys who scream and yell outside your window just when you have exams coming up. Click away and take candid pictures of everything and everyone. Make sure they are on FB and then put them all in one album named Amateur Photography (everyone you know will be impressed with your new hobby, you'll pass time, and that picture of the next-door-aunty squealing in surprise when she gets blinded by your flash wont really mind since you've made her your muse.) Remember to tag them though!

So, if you survive the holidays after following all my tips, then make sure to creatively modify them next time. However, if circumstances (after having followed these tips) make you pull a burlap sack on your head and run away to Cayman Islands, then it's what you wanted all the time, innit? ;-)

Happy Holidays!! :-)

Winter Frost

A strange shiver tickles tall trees

A butterknife can cut through the smoggy breeze

The sunrays have enrolled for holocaust

The city is taken over by the Winter Frost.

Smoke rings spiral out of quivering tea shops

Leaves shed icy tears of frozen dew drops

Fireflies hunt for warmth, their goals so lost

Cold-hearted, aint it? This Winter Frost?

Pen touches paper and the fingers freeze

The chill refuses to let go, the trees long to sneeze

Even then, warmth trickles in, at Summer's cost

Maybe there is some hope within Winter Frost.

(This is what happens when you shut me in a cold room for over three hours of psychology seminars. I guess I ought to thank the girls who presented in class for having given me time for my creative catharsis! :-D It sounds very pretentious, if you ask me, but it describes Delhi's current weather so aptly! Ah, I've finally begun to look forward to more days like this, not for writing mundane poetry, but to really enjoy this Winter Frost.)

Chennai Chronicles

I like Chennai! What can I say? Put me in a city with friends, a brilliantly stocked library, a dessert parlour and you've earned a loyal fan for life! Delhi and Bangalore became my soulmates like that as well....and finally, after much prodding and nudging, Chennai has entered the list!

Its been eight years since Chennai became my 'semi-home town', and each trip to the place consists of Fruitshop, The Beach and the library. This time was slightly different. So here's a tribute to the city, and the smart trio (that includes me too) that made history there! :D

I spent three blissful weeks lying around doing the best of nothing and being completely pampered with food and remote control. The porch swing and I became inseparable as I devoured book after book after book until I suffered from an overdose (not that it's a bad thing!) The week in Bangalore whizzed past me like a colourful comet and I had some fun reunions with old friends (including a hilarious lunch with my college gal pals...really, it's amazing how we've stayed so wacky even now!) Then came the weekend when the trio got together.

Their bus journey, I shan't describe since only Sneha can do justice to it on her blog. At least that way, SOMETHING will come on that poor blog. (Oh, off topic, but I'd like to tell you, Sneha, that your blog is rusting. You might want an intramuscular tetanus before you venture near it.) So my job only began with picking them up and bringing them home. And for some strange reason, I feel like narrating the rest point-wise. It just cuts out the fringes and makes everyone's life simpler.

1. The movies we saw. Shopaholic was only seen by me, as the two tried to sleep off their justified 'jet lag'. Bride Wars was nice ok? And totally cry-able. Sorry, but I get a little sentimental when friends give up weddings for each other. Wait till it's your wedding Reenu! The day's not far when you'll need to get your wedding hall waterproofed! :-P and He's Just Not That Into You was slightly confusing since I had not slept too much and the movie had too many characters for me to comprehend. So there went the movies, kaput.

2. The BEACH! Marina beach, not-so-early in the morning reeks of fish, but what's more fun are the characters that hang around there. There was this drunkard who warned us to stay away from the waters since the Tsunami was coming. There was a flasher who decided to sit right in front of us. There were two men who kept talking to the waves and urging them to come to them...and when they heeded, they'd run like sissies (the men, not the waves.) there was also a man who had walked right out of a board meeting and decided he'd play Baywatch for a day. Sigh. Those poor formal clothes. The waves were really high (high tide, new moon day) and the water was refreshingly clean....except for the occasional unidentifiable black objects and coconut husks. Anyhow, clearly we had enjoyed enough to bring back most of the sand! (See Sneha? Now I don't need to pack it in a friend's economics paper to get it for you! :P)

3. The BEACH part II! Elliot's Beach is the most awesomest place in this part of the world. Really! There is no other place I'd have the guts to wear identical shirts with my two wacky friends and go gallivanting on the sea shore acting completely crazy on a Sunday evening. Honestly, we gave Chennai people SO MUCH entertainment that weekend! :D That carousel (ok ok, merry-go-round) ride, the funky fluorescent wands, the loud songs we sang all around Besant Nagar..made the beach part II even better than the first one.

4. The food. When we're around, can food ever be ignored? Not only did we eat some very interesting stuff in the form of that lebanese wrap (guys, please don't ever let me try that again ok? I'm still not too sure about what went in it.), we had a one-by-three Jughead Special that warranted dirty looks from the waiters at Fruitshop. We finally ended it with that late night pizza dinner. Seriously, sometimes I think that waiter still wonders what mistake he made with our bill and why he gave us free overpriced ice creams instead of the usual scoop in a cup! :D And yes, Reenu does eat a lot of food. There, I've said it on cyberspace! :D

5. The Pictures! It was Diwali that they'd come for after all...so the pictures not only were colourful but FUN! The elevator picture that we finally perfected, our star wars themed powerpuff movie starring the wands, the beach and the beach thingamajigs, home and the convocation ceremony! :D The entire trip was chronicled in pictures that spoke more of the fun than this blog. For a change, I managed to send them on time! * Applause *

So anyway, Chennai was fun this time around, being with friends and family. Maybe enduring that 2 hour 30 minute flight in the dangerous skies is always worth it! :)

Colourful Roominations.

My room is pink. I was born into a pink room. When my grandfather was overseeing the construction of the first floor in our house, he decided that a grand-daughter would merit a pink room. A couple of days later, when I was born, the pink was commissioned.

I have very few, but fond birthday memories in that pink room for the first couple of years before we trotted off to Delhi and lived in rented homes (where thankfully no one had an insight to paint the room pink for a prospective girl to stay in!) with off-white colours. It was only when I returned to my pink room did the troubles begin.

My classmates from school would come over for project discussions and what-not, and I would continually be embarrassed at the pinkness of the room. The boy classmates would be stunned to see anything that pink, and the girls probably thanked their parents silently for not being subjected to such a torture. I tried very hard to disguise the colour though. I went through a distract-people-from-room-colour-by-drawing-attention-to-bright-curtains phase, a cover-every-inch-of-visible-room-colour-with-animal-posters phase and finally when nothing worked, I bought myself a can of blue paint (oil paint actually, something I bothered reading only after splashing it around) and began to paint the room, my cupboard and a bookshelf.

The bookshelf and the cupboard were completed in time, but when it came to painting the room, the ADHD in me lost interest and that resulted in a huge square of blue in the middle of a very pink wall. It brought out the pink of the wall, really!

I finally gave up and convinced myself that pink is a fab colour to live with, and I should really focus of enhancing it rather than camouflaging it. (That was because my mother put her foot down refusing to let me try painting it another colour after the blue fiasco.)

Today, the room has finally changed colour. The house was being repainted, and my parents thoughtfully decided I should get my wish and have this room painted a different colour. They chose a beautiful orange cheesecake type colour and really, it looks very delectable. But it's no longer pink, and I actually miss that. I miss seeing my blatant attempts to hide it, those fading scotch tape marks that held my animal posters, that blob of blue (which incidentally took the painters a FULL day to scrape off the wall!), the growing up pictures, birthday poems, Topaz house flags, the loud curtains that tried to steal the limelight and the bed covers (which were also pink!).

Of course, I no longer live in that room, so I should technically not be bothered what colour it is/was, right? But the room represents my childhood, and I have memories related to every little scratch I have made in that pink room. It's now changed colour and matured, maybe so should I.

Time to fly? Sigh!

I was four when I stepped into an airplane for the first time. I was allowed to wander down the aisle, collide into the stewardesses who loaded my fists with candy, and basically smile benignly at all the passengers as if they were attending a feast thrown in my honour. I remember thinking back then that I should do this kind of thing more often and flying is the best thrill of life.

Fast forward sixteen years and you have a different me. One who steps out of the plane and looks upward in silent prayer that she's landed on solid ground. Whose knees are actually shaking (not because the pilot is cute) but because she is finally out of the big bird of the skies. I have 3 weeks of fun and sun to look forward to, but at some teeny tiny corner in my brain, I'm dreading the flight back! What makes me think like that, you ask? Here begins my 'adventure in air' (like those Famous Five books...except mine was not all that adventurous, but for my decidedly boring life, I'd like to call it that, thanks very much.)

1) I enter the airport two hours early, misjudging the distance between the airport and my college (which is only 10 minutes, but I conclude that it is halfway across the universe.) I check in, complete security check and rush towards the McDonalds counter gleefully to grab myself a humongous glass of Iced Tea to last me the wait.

2) I meet a kindred spirit who is also going home and we indulge in a lengthy conversation about everything and beyond. (I asked her name about an hour after we chat!) My flight is now boarding and I step into the plane.

3) It's a new airplane and there are screens in every seat. My antiseptic alter-ego makes me use my iPod headphones instead of the ones they provide. So ear infection has successfully been prevented. The flight takes off and I settle down to watch some weird movie involving a camera that sees the future. (It was called Aa Dekhen Zara, something I figured out when the credits were rolling and the title track came on at the end!)

4) The food is served, I devour the chocolate brownie, spinach quiche and indistinguishable paneer and check the time- around two hours to go, I realise, and look out - the fright begins then.

5) It is considerably dark outside, and the sun is melting slowly into the sea of sky. The aircraft wing lights are blinking in rhythm and the flight cruises on the blanket of clouds.

6) Suddenly, I feel the bumps. What begins as a harmless thud escalates into positive bumping, like the plane is riding on the Gurgaon road filled with potholes. The pilot switches on the seatbelt sign and the stewardess screams in the PA about not getting up from the seats. At one point, she actually screams 'Get back to your seat MAAM and don't get out until I SAY SO!' (she sounds exactly like a hijacker and I begin to wonder if they learn these dialogues from them.)

7)I distract myself and look outside the window. Big Mistake. I can see the sky lighting up every couple of seconds. Lightning, it suddenly strikes me! (Not the actual lightning, but the thought.) I see it stab the clouds viciously every few seconds, inching closer and closer to the aircraft. I look around frantically if anyone has noticed it - everyone is so engrossed seeing Bipasha Basu gyrating in a sleazy Thai pub, that they apparently don't deem it necessary to write out their last wishes (which might never be found anyway, so they have a point.)

8) As the flight trembles more violently, I wonder if it's a good time to listen to that devotional channel in the aircraft audio and bribe god to make us land carefully. I look out again, the lightning becomes brighter and closer. I wonder if I should try and salvage my original certificates and passport from that overhead cabin while jumping out of the plane. I wonder when the stewardess will instruct the emergency exit passengers to 'co-operate' and open the doors in mid-air.

9) The flight stops trembling and swoops down, as if to attack it's prey. I cautiously look out again, and this time I see an iridescent city glowing below me. The lighting has passed, so have the clouds, and all that remains is the city below the aircraft. I wonder if he's making an emergency landing in some other city.

10) It turns out that we've finally reached our destination, and as the flight touches the runway, the breaks come on at full speed but the flight just goes on and on....the airport passes us (or we pass it) and the flight still refuses to stop. (The aeromaniac in me tells me that we might have skid on the wet runway and will end up overshooting it). It finally stops thunderously close to the boundary wall and I hear a collective sigh of relief. It turns out everyone on the flight has been just as paranoid.

I've flown a dozen times this year alone, and this has GOT the be the worst flight ever. Blame it on the weather, or the grudging pilots (incidentally, the airline I flew is on an indefinite strike since yesterday!) or my aeromania, but in three weeks I'll have to fly again. Sigh.

The owl finally hooted!

Ooh! This is my 50th blog post! Yay! (For a lazy journalism student who should, technically have crossed this milestone years ago...it IS a big achievement OK?) So anyway, it is a ripe afternoon as I write this....my laptop tells me the time is 12.12...and it gets me thinking of the bewitching midnight hour...

For all you guys who know me, I'm the goody goody thing who goes to sleep at 10 every night and wakes up bright and cheery every morning...sometimes trying to give the rising sun an inferiority complex! But circumstances have spoilt me! The sun seems to overtake me these days and I seem to overtake the moon! In less complicated words, I now know what the world looks like past bedtime thanks to insomniac friends, messenger (if my fingers cramp due to excessive typing and I walk around with bandaged hands, I'll have a lot to say to you Sneh!) , lots of assignments and just dull boredom (which completely evaporates the moment I decide to stay online!)

Remember in childhood, when you would be given special permission to stay up late and greet a visiting relative from abroad (since they ALWAYS choose to fly in at unearthly hours) or even stay up on a weekend to watch an entire movie on the TV? Those were rare privileges that I treasured....and was filled with awe that Mr.Night is letting me stay up and watch him ageing! That soon gave way to slumber parties where no one knew when it was night and when it was day! We'd just stay up all the time....and watch the hours melt into one another! :-)

Even on birthdays, I've always been the weirdo who calls up early in the morning to wish the disgruntled birthday baby with a nauseous cheery greeting! I've never been the midnight wisher, simply thinking that they would hate to be disturbed in the middle of their deep sleep by that nauseous greeting! Conversely I have always threatened to kill people in cold blood if they dared give me even a missed call on my birthday! But this year changed all that.....not only did I stay up ALL night (Thanks, you guys...if you'd told me you'd be gate-crashing to give me a surprise, I'd have worn more decent nightclothes and not be embarrassed to put the pics up on FB!). I cut a cake, two dessert pizzas, painted a T shirt, ate chips...and received calls...things I would ordinarily do in my dreams every birthday! The freezing party on my terrace really showed me what it's like to stay up all night on your birthday!

And Google, of course....we stayed on the terrace one entire night just to catch the sunrise! And then trooped off to bed early mornings....our nocturnal instincts were so sharp back then....I don't think I've ever stayed so alert at 1 in the night to play Musical Chairs! I think that's the reason why after I got back home, my mom kept shooing me away when I would eagerly plan the 'night's' agenda....I had lost any sense of day or night and would be irritatingly active only at night! It took me a few bleary eyed moments (and sharp glares from teachers as I stifled yawn after yawn) in Literature class to realise that days would be days and I'd have to straighten my biological clock!

Since then, I've been back on schedule....sleeping early and waking early...but now suddenly everything has become Topsy Turvy all over again! I seem to sleep way after my laptop clock warns me it's 00:00. I seem to sleep en route to college and yawn throughout the day...but when nighttime strikes again, I seem to be up for a roller coaster ride! Really, somethings happened and my clock has taken a hike....the lark has decided to call it a day and the owl has finally hooted!

Nibbles of Nostalgia

I'm twenty one now. I should stop using these blasted alliterated titles, REALLY. People generally write a post, and then spend hours together finding a suitable title. I, however, decide to write a post based on a good title.

Moving on, don't you think rain somewhat clears the sinuses in your memory and makes you remember so many gorgeous moments you've had? This post is one of those sorts.....some fun times I've had in the rains, which needed to be recorded somewhere...so I can clear that slate and start over the next time it rains. (and Ms.Nature forgets to turn off the taps when it rains in Delhi.)

The sun has finally decided to play peek-a-boo and has warmed up the soggy city.....and these past rainy days transported me to so many recent memories of rain...all of which included the same three of us and ice cream, incidentally! So you guys, if this post wont make you want to bunk your college and hang out with me when I get there, NOTHING will!

Hmm....the first time was Reenu's birthday. (Yes, I got your message last night...about the 'anniversary' of discovering a certain food item and it got me thinking!) After making her open those twenty wacky presents, we whisked her off to Cream and Fudge Factory in the rain! The ice cream is sort of vaguely present in my mind (it involved a lot of sprinkles) but the impromptu decision of eating that roadside Gobi Manchurian in the rain is etched ever so clearly! And then riding back with the cold biting wind and frozen drops of drizzle on Hosur Road!

Then came Sneha's college fest! Aaah..that was such a memory! After spending the entire day judging events (sigh, it was such hard work! ), the rock concert was generously given a washing down! I know, Sneha went around running from pillar to post (quite literally you know) trying to prevent the stage from collapsing on Avial, but Reenu and I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience! (okay, before you include it in your comments, I'll concede that I needed some convincing to get my new shirt wet in the rain..but I did in the end you know!) Including all that slush and mush on the sneakers that weighed down on us so heavily! After getting so completely drenched, we trekked back onto Hosur Road to catch that bus back home. We waited under that bridge with some shady characters...wondering if we should just camp in the college for the night! When we got onto some bus and reached the Silk Board Junction, we had to swim our way through to the next bus stop! And I mean swim! We managed to get up on some broken wall and walked on it precariously as if we were practicing for Miss India (they would've been proud of us though...one tiny slip and we'd be Miss Kichad instead!). After actually touching real, solid ground, wet with only the rainwater, we ran towards another bus that would finally take us home. When we reached home, it began raining again...I don't know why, but I never felt the need to run for shelter....even that late at night, we walked as if it was a bright sunny day and reached home so merrily, my family wondered if I had caught a severe form of head cold that had affected my sensibility!

The last memory is recent...when we went to see that movie at Inox near home. Yeah yeah, so it rained inside the theatre for different reasons...but once we got out, it was actually raining. This time again, we just walked so lazily in the drizzle and ate that scrumptious ice cream in the Fake Corner House. (I'm the biggest fan of Corner house but the ambiance of the Fake one takes the Cake..and the whipped cream on it!) I remember as we walked back, people kept giving us weird looks about how three carefree girls can just waddle in the rain when people run towards cover.....somehow it never affected us....we roamed all around Jayanagar that day, not even realizing that rain is supposed to be a hindrance! If that wasn't enough, we actually rode triples on a bike in the rain!

These three things have happened at different times of the year...not really in the monsoon, and still somehow every time we meet, it rains! I dunno...there is something about our meeting and the rain playing host! And there's something intoxicating about Bangalore rains...sort of makes you want to go out right away and eat ice-cream! Do you think the monsoons will be generous enough to extend themselves for three more weeks?