Thursday, March 12, 2015

I'm not 27, I'm just 9, three times over

The customary budday post turned 7 this year! I'm breaking the tradition since I'm coming up with this *after* the birthday. Let's face it, I'm old. I've now crossed over to the dark side of the 20s, so before I get more melancholic, I'm going to treat this post as an ego-massage therapy to my "Post 25 traumatic stress disorder".

About seven years ago, I'd have never imagined I'd be where I am today - so I'm going to make this delightfully narcissistic and talk about 27 milestones (some significant, some completely random) in the past 27 years. (I promise that each is only a line long. Or thereabouts.) 

1. Keeping a blog - even if that means writing only one self-obsessed birthday post a year, such as this one. 

2. Working in a software company - Yup, when you can't beat 'em, join 'em! After years of being mean towards the techies who've infiltrated my dear old city, I became one of them - ah the joy of discovering Mac! (And I now know that Github and Heroku aren't ancient east Asian civilizations)

3. Quitting work in a software company - It's easy to get carried away with the bright and shiny life of Macs, but it takes a little more courage to leave it behind and follow the heart. I'm trying that now, so let's see where that takes me

4. Acting in a play - And turning up in the front page of the supplement newspaper! And I had absolutely no stage fright (well, mostly because they made me take my glasses off and I could've been acting in front of a group of flamingos and I wouldn't know) 

5. Travelling to Africa - Why does this matter? Because I had to get a yellow fever shot for the visa - and if you've seen me around needles then you know this is a big deal. Not to mention a solo international plane ride *shudder* 

6. Driving in three cities of the country - Seven years ago, I was too chicken to drive in my own road. And now, the people around me are too chicken to come in my way. Hah. (Or so I'd like to think)

7. Going on an all girls international backpacking trip - Buongiorno Italia! An unforgettable experience of living life on a shoestring budget, without knowing what the next day brings for you 

8. Learning the art of video editing and subtitling - You never know where a skill might come handy, even if you've picked it up in recording studios that inhabit the dusty lanes of Kollywood 

9. Cooking 3 edible meals a day - While it's not gourmet variety, I've come a long distance from trying to fry bread in a microwave. And when all fails, 3 minute mug cakes FTW! 

10. Chasing a criminal and reporting him to the police - The world needs more people to stand up and fight the bullies, even if that means you live a few days in fear of vindication

11. Learning Zumba - Ok, so it lasted two days and I have the grace of a drunken panda, but it's definitely something I want to try out again! 

12. Training for a marathon - ...that I haven't yet run, but just the training process has inflated my ego enough to act like I'm a pro already

13. Growing out of superstitions - Well, most superstitions...unless I see that mail van on the road *zips lips*

14. Firing a machine gun - A real, alive and kickin machine gun! In a shooting range! With real bullets! *So* cathartic. Imma build myself a range in the house for particularly long traffic-ridden days

15. Accidentally propositioning two German men - Hey, vanakkam and wanna come sound the same. Yes, they do

16. Getting chased by a turkey - Nasty, nasty birds

17. Walking into a murder scene with the killer standing behind - Yes, this happened and no, it wasn't for real. I'm sure if I'd seen the film crew and camera I would have reacted in a more dignified manner. Screaming and running out like a headless chicken *may* not have been the best solution

18. Prank calling an eve teaser - Well, he did leave his number and asked us to call him, maybe? Next time, I'll etch the number in a public loo and write call 4 a gud tym

19. Chasing a train - And catching it in the nick of time. And doing this way before Jab We Met made it cool

20. Swallowing my grandpa's diabetes medication, a naphthalene ball and some shrink wrap - All at various points in my life, but the diabetes shenanigan was when I was 3, and it resulted in a diet of sugar syrup and Cadbury's chocolates for 10 hours to ensure I didn't slip into a coma. What a bundle of joy I might have been to the parents ;)

21. By-hearting the lyrics to random Hindi/Bhojpuri/Kannada/Tamil/Telugu/Malayalam songs -  Because that's what one must do to accrue a multicultural personality while growing up

22. Becoming a tea connoisseur - from cherry to hibiscus, I'm now a fan of teas made from fruits, flowers, leaves and bark. According to my folks, I may as well just drink a garden

23. Undergoing a technology cleanse - The reason for my late blogpost? I've stayed away from a laptop for the longest time, coming back only when I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to the lack of a proper keyboard on that imbecile of a phone

24. Writing poetry - From the slapstick birthday poems to more serious ones, there's probably a reason why my friends call me VaishKavi (and yes you guys, you'll get your last year's poems soon)

25. Getting nearly blown into the Niagara river during a snowstorm - Because you know, what better time to visit the Niagara Falls than during a polar vortex?

26. Making the best group of friends ever - From legendary birthday celebrations to surprise bachelorette parties - these guys have played a huge role in what I am today (and in a lot of the aforementioned shenanigans) - so if you're yawning through most of these because you know them already, then you're in this group :)

27. Getting married - Probably the biggest coup to have pulled off against my brain (that still believes I'm 23). You know you're in the right place when marriage doesn't make you feel like you're old and dull. 27 is, after all, just a number. :)

So far, so good!