Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Two and Two Squared

Twenty four days left for me to turn Twenty Four. Sigh. If the plans I hatched over a decade ago had worked out, I should've been happily married to Daniel Radcliffe, with a couple of Harry-Potteresque kids along the way by now. But life (or the delusional one I had back then) changes. And now I get to write this ridiculously long Birthday Post instead! (Don't blame it on my narcissism. Blame it on my age.)

So. When I hit the Second Decade of my life, I wasn't ready for it. A Year Later, I made a wishlist, that, miraculously, came halfway true at least (have you read the bizarre things on it? I'm surprised even some of them were met!). After That, I listed out my eccentricities (because, you know, they're not that obvious at all.). And finally, Last Year, I resigned myself to growing old.

After the hyperlink infested paragraph, I come to this year. With the Grammys (No, that word does NOT mean a couple of grandmothers and I'm capable of being musically knowledgeable too.) being in the news, I decided to give this year's lengthy list a new melody. This is the soundtrack of my life. A playlist, if you must, with the songs that keep recurring dangerously in my mind, thanks to odd situations they represent. (After twenty four years, I've realized that 'odd' is ordinary in my life.)

24. 'I have a Dream', Abba - I have the weirdest dreams. Seriously. When I was sixteen, I dreamt that a classmate of mine from college was a serial killer and I was his next target. The dream was so life-like, I actually avoided the poor boy like the plague until I graduated! This year, I'm going to turn this song back to what it originally was. And maybe ping the chap if I see him online (oh dear. That means I'd have to unblock him first.)

23. 'If you're not the One', Daniel Bedingfield - Does anyone else read Daniel Bedingfield and wonder if he's sitting on a mattress in the middle of a paddy farm? Oookay. Maybe not. So this song used to play over and over again in my head, only because I had no one to sing it to and wallow in heartbreak. I still don't. But I wonder sometimes, if people really do feel as emo as this dude felt.

22. 'Kitabein Bohot Si Padhi hogi Tumne, magar koi chehra bhi tumne padha hai?', Baazigar - Seriously. If one more person asks me if  I can read faces/minds/hands/feet/endocrine glands, I will push them off the rooftop of wherever we're standing. (I'll bet Shah Rukh did that to Shilpa Shetty for the same reason.) I'm a psychologist. Not a clairvoyant.

21. 'Be Happy', Aqua - Hehe, I just added this song because I really liked it. And I still do. Despite the balding Ken and the blue-mascaraed Chick and the very cheesy everythingelse. And sometimes, it just starts playing in my head and the day looks brighter.

20.  'Hot Child', Nick Gilder - I heard this song only a couple of days ago, and I can't get enough! It *totally* represents 2009, 2010 and 2011!

19. 'Can't get you out of my head', Kylie Minogue - I don't even like this song, but I can give you a handful of bizarre things that I just *can't* stop thinking about. My current obsession? Chocolate Bread.

18. 'Wuuudn't It be Luverly', My Fair Lady - Wuuuuudn't it be luverly if we got to eat Chocolate Bread for breakfast everyday?

17. 'Hips Don't Lie', Shakira - No, they don't, my friend. Not even when you've indulged in chocolate bread and hoped the calories would disappear as an early birthday present. Sigh.


16.  'I am sixteen, going on Seventeen', The Sound of Music - And I always will be. :) However old I get and however long and painstaking the birthday posts become.

15. 'Apologize', Timbaland & One Republic - Admit it. Even you've tried to hit the highest pitch on this song and attracted weird looks in a crowded market. If you haven't, then it isn't tooo laaaaate  to begin now. The stares people give you? Priceless.

14. 'Big Girls Don't Cry', Fergie - Haaah. Tell that to me in a movie theatre, as you try and waterproof your surroundings. Won't work. Now. Or ever. Movies were made so I'd cleanse my eyes. Even the slapstick, horrible, I-so-want-to-kill-the-guy-who-made-this type of movies.

13.  'Superstition', Stevie Wonder - I've heard this song, ok? I've not just randomly written it here because it fit the number and my personality.


12. 'Leaving on a Jet Plane', Justin Timberlake - If you don't already know about how my aerophobia has driven me crazy, then this title should explain it. And also, the fact the I like the Justin Timberlake version more.

11. 'Firework', Katy Perry - So I don't burst crackers because of child labour and environmental pollution. Doesn't stop me from singing this number like there's no tomorrow! (God help you, if you're around when I'm in the 'Firework' zone.)

10. 'Crazier', Taylor Swift - Does this need any more explanation?

9. 'Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast Mast', RandomAkshayKumarMovie - Is it weird that every time I listen to this song, I think about a person being unnaturally obsessed with cheese?

8. 'Kal College Band ho Jayega', RandomEarlyDaysOfMr.BajajMovie - I want to go back. To college. And sing this song around the green trees and wide roads...and stick my tongue out at that rude librarian.

7. 'FunkyTown', Lipps Inc. - Because I feel like dancing every time I hear it. (And that's usually a rare phenomenon. The dancing, I mean.)

6.  'Hey, Soul Sister', Train - Best. Song. Ever. For the best soul-sisters ever. :) This includes the Foo Foos, The Glove and the gang of gal pals I've had all through my life. Also, best Bathroom song ever. Seriously. I could win a Grammy with this one and a soundproof shower.

5. 'Jaane Kyun Log Pyaar Karte Hain', Dil Chahta Hai - I've wondered this every single day of my life. (You know, when I'm not over-indulging in Mills and Boons. Which...uh...I only read on flights, of course. To combat the aerophobia. Only.)

4.  'Vaadi Vaadi Vaadi Vaadi Cute Pondatti', TamilMovieDon'tBeShockedIUnderstoodTheLyrics - okay, so the Youtube video had subtitles. But if all Tamil songs have such a kickass beat, I really need to brush up my language skills. (The last time I heard a Tamil song, I thought they were singing an ode to an egg. And the shame of it all? I speak Tamil at home. Or parts of it, clearly.)

3. 'Yeh Taara Woh Taara', Swades - Because counting stars on a moonlit night is the best way to forget all troubles in life. Instant dose of happiness, this gives me. (The counting, not the song.)

2. 'When You say Nothing At All', Ronan Keating - I'll bet a LOT of people feel like singing this to me. Or maybe you feel the same after having spent half your lifetime reading this post. Sometimes, I worry if God will tell me one day that I've finished up the quota of words I can talk in a lifetime. That can't happen....can it? I really should start talking less. :-/

aaaaand....we reach Numero Uno! So if you've survived this literary-ily challenged gabfest, and are two seconds away from murdering me in your minds for having wasted SO much time of yours....what can I say?  I was...

1. 'Born This Way', Lady Gaga. =) 

Happy Birthday To Me!

P.S. For further details about what to gift me, kindly contact in the comments page. I've activated comment moderation, so don't think I'll publish stinky opinions of what you'd like to get me instead. 

12 comments:

vergere6 said...

That was freaking hilarious :D Happy 24-days-to-24!

Unknown said...

Haha.. See?? THIS is why you popped into my head when I heard *Hot Child*! I knew you would do the song justice!
And *Funky Town* right?? No one gave me any bhaav when I went around singing it 24X7... [Oh!! Ok.. I got it!]
*Pondatti*!! :D Although the world missed out on one Brilliant performance... this one is still right up there with *Its Friday*. Which, surprisingly, you missed in your Awesome Song List!! How could you do that Vaish?? How ever could you do that??? :P ;)

Vaishnavi said...

We will definitely do the pondatti song very soon. Yeh item number hum pe udhaar raha! And yes, It's Friday was in my waiting list... Along with California girls and yeh raat aur ye doorie! :D but in a contest of creepy songs, pondatti and lady gaga won hands down! :P

@Varun: Thaaanks :)

Vaishnavi said...

Also, aish, you have contributed a good 7-8 years to that playlist of mine. Without you, I'd be but a teenager... Listening to backstreet boys and wondering why Britney Spears wants to be hit another time! :D

Unknown said...

All I say is... *Thank you for the Music*!! :D

AFM said...

maybe i shud gift a few good mp3 :P
thank god ur not a tiktok person :P

chillar party said...

Hey vaish how about a gag order for your b'day or maybe noise cancellation headphones for mine. ;)))

Vaishnavi said...

@AFM - I've taken these songs off my playlist...so there's no point in gifting an mp3. :D But latest versions of ipod are most welcome! ;)

@Chillar party - Gag order? Noise Cancellation Headphones? I have no idea who you are, but have I really inflicted that much damage on your eardrums? :D

sneha said...

How can you NOT have mentioned Darius' Colour Blind? You're obSESSed with it!

Vaishnavi said...

Haha! I know. But then, this playlist was about songs that talk about my life. Not the ones I'm obsessed with! :D Believe me, if I wrote out a list of the songs I'm obsessed with, we'd need more than just a blog! :D

Also, *Ni woofer tu meri, Main tera amplifier* would top that list! Do yu WANT me to become a social outcast and admit the songs I obsess about? :D

Unknown said...

happy bday vaish! i knew there s ll be bday blogpost ... so i came by to read it! its very phunny as always... btw ..if u ever make a list of songs u r/were obsessed with.. dont forget "truly madly deeply" :D and colorblind as sneha said!

Vaishnavi said...

Hahaha, the fact that I'm willing to *admit* Timberlake even fit in somewhere on that list means something, ok? :P Besides, you should listen to his version of 'Leaving on a Jet Plane'...it's not entirely Bieberesque.