Beeyay I and Beeyay II were about my interactions with outside people. This one is slightly hatke. This is a conversation I overheard within the fuzzy depths of my mind.
Remember those cartoons where there is an angel and a devil side of you that argues with each other? The sanctimonious Holy white cartoon and the evil and cunning Black cartoon? Turns out, these things don’t always happen only in reel life. They have decided to appear in my mind as well. In a way, it helps me make decisions in a more relative manner, taking both sides into account. (Generally, very blah decisions like must I bunk college today or watch Parent Trap again) However, this conversation was certainly not expected by me. Or the ‘me(s)’
Black-cartoon-of-myself: So you finally sent that mail huh?
White-cartoon-of-myself: Um, yes. It was the only right decision to do, you know. If you don’t want the job, then you must politely reject it early so that the chance may be given to someone else.
B: Whatever. You could’ve retained the offer till you got into some decent post grad college thingy right? I mean, a job is anyway much much more fun! You’ll get to, like, earn and stuff…and party with all those earnings and stuff.
W: *wary but patient look* but I want to study further, not earn and ahem…party… right now.
B: Bah! You crib about studying for a measly internal test and you want to study for like, sooooo many more years?
W: What’s wrong with that? I like what I want to do and if I get in a good place, I’ll not miss rejecting ‘the dream job’. And besides, what’s the point in studying when you don’t crib a tad? *winks*
B: Umm….duh! You interned there…you had the time of your life. You said yourself that given the chance, you’d want to rewind and live it a hundred times over. And now you don’t want to go back there? I mean, it’s going to be like a lifetime of that internship period…you don’t want all that? You’ll probably only meet clinically depressed or suicidal people all your life now onwards, instead of those happy happy guys!
W: Um...at least my life will be more fulfilling. And I will live on my terms…not get carried away by the euphoria of an internship. Besides, it’s the best I can think of in my line of study.
B: You want to know what’s best? This job is best, that’s what is best. Who in this insanely competitive world will hire a mere Beeyay for a job later anyway? Now that you have the world’s best employer wanting to hire you, you turn your back to it and say “No thanks, I’m better off in mental hospitals fulfilling my life?” Face it whitey, you want style, action and fun in your life. And you will certainly not get all that by cramming up books for the next what, 4 years? You’ll just graduate from a Beeyay to maybe a Yemesee (MSc) and Oh! If you’re lucky maybe even a PhD! A doctorate in boringsville, that’s what this is.
W: …………….. *no answer really, it’s one that I’m seeking as well.*
I guess at some level, I want to be the White-cartoon-of-myself. But there is that black cartoon in me that I've recently encountered. Is this a fight between being pragmatic and romantic (in the idealist, rose glasses sort of way)? Or is it a reflection of two opinions with the same goal in mind-success and self-fulfillment?
Remember those cartoons where there is an angel and a devil side of you that argues with each other? The sanctimonious Holy white cartoon and the evil and cunning Black cartoon? Turns out, these things don’t always happen only in reel life. They have decided to appear in my mind as well. In a way, it helps me make decisions in a more relative manner, taking both sides into account. (Generally, very blah decisions like must I bunk college today or watch Parent Trap again) However, this conversation was certainly not expected by me. Or the ‘me(s)’
Black-cartoon-of-myself: So you finally sent that mail huh?
White-cartoon-of-myself: Um, yes. It was the only right decision to do, you know. If you don’t want the job, then you must politely reject it early so that the chance may be given to someone else.
B: Whatever. You could’ve retained the offer till you got into some decent post grad college thingy right? I mean, a job is anyway much much more fun! You’ll get to, like, earn and stuff…and party with all those earnings and stuff.
W: *wary but patient look* but I want to study further, not earn and ahem…party… right now.
B: Bah! You crib about studying for a measly internal test and you want to study for like, sooooo many more years?
W: What’s wrong with that? I like what I want to do and if I get in a good place, I’ll not miss rejecting ‘the dream job’. And besides, what’s the point in studying when you don’t crib a tad? *winks*
B: Umm….duh! You interned there…you had the time of your life. You said yourself that given the chance, you’d want to rewind and live it a hundred times over. And now you don’t want to go back there? I mean, it’s going to be like a lifetime of that internship period…you don’t want all that? You’ll probably only meet clinically depressed or suicidal people all your life now onwards, instead of those happy happy guys!
W: Um...at least my life will be more fulfilling. And I will live on my terms…not get carried away by the euphoria of an internship. Besides, it’s the best I can think of in my line of study.
B: You want to know what’s best? This job is best, that’s what is best. Who in this insanely competitive world will hire a mere Beeyay for a job later anyway? Now that you have the world’s best employer wanting to hire you, you turn your back to it and say “No thanks, I’m better off in mental hospitals fulfilling my life?” Face it whitey, you want style, action and fun in your life. And you will certainly not get all that by cramming up books for the next what, 4 years? You’ll just graduate from a Beeyay to maybe a Yemesee (MSc) and Oh! If you’re lucky maybe even a PhD! A doctorate in boringsville, that’s what this is.
W: …………….. *no answer really, it’s one that I’m seeking as well.*
I guess at some level, I want to be the White-cartoon-of-myself. But there is that black cartoon in me that I've recently encountered. Is this a fight between being pragmatic and romantic (in the idealist, rose glasses sort of way)? Or is it a reflection of two opinions with the same goal in mind-success and self-fulfillment?
All this while, I’ve ridiculed the society, parents (of other people) and the world in general. I didn’t realize that I had a Beeyay bug inside me as well.
Ten years down the line, I might want to revisit this post to see who won the argument after all….the white or the black cartoon. And whoever it was that won, I hope not at the cost of my ambitions.
Ten years down the line, I might want to revisit this post to see who won the argument after all….the white or the black cartoon. And whoever it was that won, I hope not at the cost of my ambitions.
4 comments:
That was hilarious! :) And I pick the white one.. and I know you will as well.. and that will make you happy in the long run. There's plenty of time for fun, and the PG will be fun too. And since when did you have the urge to party anyway? So shoot off the black gal and go for white!
Ahhh... yes... happens loads of times!! But I strongly stand by the white cartoon in this matter!!
is the black cartoon venkatesh uncle?? it sounds awfully like his practical view on things...:)
Google's in decline anyway, and a demand for internet based advertising is predicted to fall soon. 95% of google's revenue comes from internet advertising.
Plus, by 2012, the amount of bandwidth available will be less than the demand for the internet, so internet based services may actually not be so attractive.
Google's also downsizing, albeit quietly. 10000 jobs gone recently. Share value dropped from $790 last year to $200 something this year.
You've made the right decision. Tell black cartoon.
Haha....no the black cartoon was not Appa...it was another side of me only...the side that had such a blast at Google and didnt want to let go of it all by refusing the offer.
And hey! given a chance sometime later in life, I'd love to go back there and work with them...although my career then would be revolving around patients with psychological disorders so I dont see how I can fit Google into my agenda! :-(
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