Ok. The oh-it’s-a-new-year-so-i-have-to-make-drastic-lifestyle-changes-in-the-form-of-resolutions-that-are-never-met phase is over. While the world (and some friends in particular) implores me to Change! Change for the better! Be cooler and more conformist to the society’s vision of being cool! , I have chosen to go on and live like how I did in 2008. All you hear in the first few months of any New Year is Change (and I am not referring to President Obama’s campaign rally). People almost want to erase their follies in the past year and start on a crisp new page. So I encountered various friends these weeks who made me think about ‘Change’ and it’s importance in my life.
Anyway, my first encounter was a call from a friend. Or so they’re called these days. It was someone who met me, decided I was not good enough to hang out in their company, and just returned a call of formality. Reason? Maybe I’ve changed. Maybe they’ve changed. Maybe one of us has changed we’re incompatible as the friends we used to be.
Another encounter with friends (although this one was wa-hay nicer) changed my ideas of incompatibility. We met, we laughed, we goofed around and we talked ‘twenty’ to a dozen. I realized that we’ve not really changed at all. We’ve known one another almost forever and I guess that’s what made the difference. No matter how much I change, it wont make an iota of difference in our relationships – we know each other beyond concepts of Change and fitting with the ‘In’ group. Sure, our tastes will change in food, clothes and movies. But our tastes in friendship will not change because we’ve matured beyond frivolous things like that.
Then came an unexpected day out with college pals. We headed out on our bikes, buses and autos to give out invitations for a seminar. That part of the outing occupied about one-fiftieth of our time. We decided on lunch instead of attending English Class and trooped into a restaurant. We became the objects of observation for the entire place as we laughed and held sizzling brownie sundae eating competitions. We didn’t need to change and look all ‘Sophisticated’ because that’s what ‘everyone’ does. Nor did we look like dehaatis who have never seen chocolate before. We looked like us. A bunch of self-assured, intelligent (in terms of the worldly ways dude!:-P), jovial girls don’t need to change just to be noticed.
It’s really a complicated thing. Something that I will not blather on with. Expecting your friends to change just so that they can be your friend is not really the best way to describe friendship. If you’re my friend and have changed drastically, and expect me to do as well, then it’s not going to work. I just wish you behave normally with me or at least spare me the trouble of acting all plasticky with sugar-coated flattery thrown in. change is something one does to make oneself a better person from within, not to appear as a better person from the exterior.
2 comments:
Hee hee.. it feels so good to know who you're so slyly referring to in the first bit! I was wondering when you'd post about it!
Personally, I fee change is inevitable in certain situations, but we can definitely avoid making changes to ourselves just to 'fit in'.. negative changes. We've got to hold our own sometimes, but we have to give in to change sometimes as well, when we know it's good for us.. like developing a better dress sense you get into college, but stopping yourself from going overboard and dressing like Priyanka Chopra from Dostana. (By the way, thank you very much for the movie.. I loved it! It's hard proof of the change in our times.. what is acceptable in viewing material now is sooo different from the not-so-far-off Mr.India days!)
I'm tired of the cliched 'Change is the only constant thing' theory.. I wish people wouldn't change! I wish we could stay the innocent little kids we were forever.. I shall conveniently use your blog to advertise an old post on mine: http://snehaprabhu.blogspot.com/2008/10/last-line-of-my-previous-post-about.html
And yeah.. I know what it feels like to meet with old friends you grew up playing in the mud with, only to be asked whether you'd join them for a drink or something equally outrageous.. sigh.. times have changed..
hehe.....actually the first bit and the last bit is a compilation of more than just 'one' person...I've generalized. And I must apologize too....these rants are not becoming of me. Especially on the world wide web. My diary is more than enough for these silly things!
And joining friends for a drink is not as outrageous as the look on their face when you say you are a teetotaler. They think you're a Martian and are supposed to be living a life of solitary confinement instead of spreading your evil disease of Miss. Goody Two Shoes in the world! :-D :-D
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